TravelCD

My parents and my work colleges, unfortunately I don’t see my outside work friends enough due to work and living further away from each other.

I live with my parents, so while I’m pleased to spend time with them, I’m in my late twenties, so I still would like to move out. Unfortunately right now I can’t afford too but hopefully that will change when I get a full time job.

While I do consider my work colleges my friends, but not close enough for it not to feel like it be strange to ask any of them to meet me outside work, to grab lunch.

I would love to do that but I just don’t think they’d agree and they don’t see me as close enough to do that either. We all still chat lots and have jokes together but there’s just this line I feel like I can’t cross.

There is one that I feel like it might not feel odd to ask him for lunch and we seemed to get on really well but I’m a little nervous that he might take it the wrong way and I’m awful at any types of discussions about relationships. But I feel like I’m going to need to say the “just as friends” If I want to ask him to have lunch with me but I feel like that just make things awkward.

It feels awkward when you have to think about just assuming someones interested in you just because they chat to you a lot and are very comfortable around you. I don’t want to assume but I’ve made mistakes before when I decided to not assume that and we both ended up getting hurt and I also ended up feeling guilty since it was like I was dragging them along but I didn’t know they were interested?

When it turns out guys who were friendly with me, turn out to be actually interested in me, I tend to question, so were all the nice things you did for me, not because you wanted to be friends with and your a nice person but because you wanted to be more that friends with me?

I also wonder if thats your real personality? I’m well aware if you want someone to like you, especially in a romantic sense, sometimes you’ll hide parts of yourself you think they might not like.

If I known them a while, I don’t think that but if it’s a short time I tend to question in my thoughts, how nice of a person actually are they? If I wasn’t someone you were interested in, would you even chat to me, how would you treat me?

I find it very hard to judge if a person just trying to be nice for the sake of it/thats just their personality, or they want to actually be platonic friends or they’re being nice because they want more than friendship.

It also difficult to know someones intentions and whether I need to assume things or not. I’m not looking for a relationship, even people who I like personality wise and looks, I’m not interested in having a partner, perhaps once I feel like my life is stable I’ll have a look but it never truly interested me.

I was way more interested and still am, about my own career, traveling abroad, what books I’m reading, YouTube, social media and television shows than I am about having a partner.

People sometimes say you’ll have someone to share things with but I’m like, what if I don’t want to share??

I somehow ended up with a rant about relationships and my troubles understanding it but oh well!

Oh and I just thought of someone else I spend all my time with, my dog Merlin! Isn’t he cute? He is two years old. I spend a lot of time with him too! His a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. I talking about him in a comment and here he is!

Our last dog before him was called Albee, he was such a sweetheart, unfortunately he died two years ago. We got Merlin rather quickly after Albee passed away because we couldn’t stand the house being so quiet without him and Merlin really helped us grief Albee. We often wonder what Albee would have thought of Merlin if they had somehow met but I bet they wouldn’t like each other, they’re both quite territorial over our house ha but we like to call them brothers anyway even though they’re not and often tell Merlin, what would Albee think about your behaviour! when his being naughty 😂

Albee is below, we was our first dog and he passed away at eleven years old. Albee was very sweet and I’m still teary eyed talking about him.